Hetalia Country Cooking Intro
by RenaPIJ
Summary: You the reader bake the country dishes, only to find out that there is something other than "baking" that's happening here.
1. Hetalia Country Cooking Intro

_ recieved a cook book from her closest friends, [friends name], saying that if she wanted to learn how to cook delicaties of different countries that would be the to start with. Upon gazing through the pages _ noticed that there was, indeed, at least one dish from every country. She also noticed that there was something particularly odd about this book as well. Many would call it the "Pink elephant in the room," so to speak. Some of the ingrediants needed to make the dishes were, to say the least, rather "odd." Odd being a light term, and on top of the the instuctions were nearly impossible.

_ shrugged it off, put on an apron, and pulled out the cooking impliments needed for the first dish.

"LETS GET COOKING!" 


	2. Hetalia Country Cooking America

AMERICA APPLE PIE Ingredients:

For Crust:

6 ounces unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 2 ounces vegetable shortening, cut into 1/2-inch pieces 5 to 7 tablespoons applejack 12 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 2 3/4 cups, plus extra for dusting 1 teaspoon table salt 1 tablespoon granulated sugar For the filling:

3 to 3 1/2 pounds apples, mixture of Granny Smith, Honeycrisp, Braeburn and Golden Delicious, about 6 large apples 1/2 cup sugar, divided 3 tablespoons tapioca flour 2 tablespoons apple jelly 1 tablespoon apple cider 2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juice 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground grains of paradise 15 pounds of McDonalds hamburgers (with all condoments)  
>3 gallons of Cola-Cola 2 tubs of Vanilla ice cream 1 Superman comic book 6 chicken bones<p>

Directions:For the crust:Place the butter, shortening and applejack into the refrigerator for 1 hour.

In the bowl of a food processor, combine the flour, salt and sugar by pulsing 3 to 4 times. Add the butter and pulse 5 to 6 times until the texture looks mealy. Add the shortening and pulse another 3 to 4 times until incorporated. Shread the comic book page by page, lineing the crust.

Remove the lid of the food processor and sprinkle in 5 tablespoons of the applejack. Replace the lid and pulse 5 times. Add more applejack as needed, and pulse again until the mixture holds together when squeezed. Weigh the dough and divide in half. Shape each half into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and up to overnight.

For the filling:Peel and core the apples. Slice into 1/2-inch thick wedges. Toss all of the apples with 1/4 cup of the sugar, place in a colander set over a large bowl and allow to drain for 1 1/2 hours.

Transfer the drained liquid to a small saucepan, place over medium heat and reduce to 2 tablespoons. Set aside to cool. Toss the apples with the remaining sugar, tapioca flour, jelly, cider, lime juice, salt, the chicken bones, and grains of paradise. Throw the hamburgers into a blender. (You may need to use the "super fast" function) Mix the Cola-Cola with the vanilla icecream.

For assembling and baking the pie:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.  
>Remove one disk of dough from the refrigerator. Place the dough onto a lightly floured piece of waxed paper. Lightly sprinkle the top of the dough with flour and roll out into a 12-inch circle. Place into a 9 12 to 10-inch tart pan that is 2-inches deep. Gently press the dough into the sides of the pan, crimping and trimming the edges as necessary. Set a pie bird in the center of the bottom of the pan.

Place the apples into the unbaked pie shell in concentric circles starting around the edges, working towards the center and forming a slight mound in the center of the pie. Pour over any liquid that remains in the bowl. Pour the blended hamburgers and Cola-Cola float into the pie. Roll out the second pie dough as the first. Place this dough over the apples, pressing the pie bird through the top crust. Press together the edges of the dough around the rim of the pie. Brush the top crust with the reduced juice everywhere except around the edge of pie. Trim any excess dough. Place the pie on a half sheet pan lined with parchment paper and bake on the floor** of the oven for 30 minutes. Transfer to the lower rack of the oven and continue to bake another 20 minutes or until the apples are cooked through but not mushy. Remove to a rack and cool a minimum of 4 hours or until almost room temperature.

After the twenty minutes were done, there was a banging coming from the kitchen. _ ran in just in time to see the oven door kicked open. Smoke poured out of it as someone climbed out of the stove. _ rubbed her eyes, making sure that she was seeing this correctly. It was a blonde haired man that climbed out of her oven. Aside from his blonde hair that had a cow lick in the front, he also had ocean blue eyes that were partically hidden behind glasses, a bomber jacket, and an air force uniform that was used during WW2. Her jaw dropped.

"*cough* Whoa dude *cough* what happened?" America fanned the smoke away from him as he stepped towards _. "A-alfred?" she studdered out, still in disbelief that he emerged from the oven, for seemingly no appearent reason. "That's totally my name dude! But how do you know it?" he held his chin as he paced around her. "Your, like, a total babe!" he grabbed onto her in a tight embrace picking her up off her feet and swinging her around slightly. "Diz-zzy," she barely managed out. America placed her back on her feet, "So how'd I get here?" "Uh, I was baking. Well trying to, and then you came out.. of my oven?" she was trying to understand what happened aswell.

Alfred picked up the cook book and flipped through the pages. He snapped his fingers, ending by pointing at the ceiling. "I got an idea! Well bake more stuff and see if what happened to me happens to everyone else!" he annouced in his 'total hero voice'. "We'll so need to get Britain here! He'll totally flip!" he said as he slammed the cookbook down on the page titled 'England Scones.' 


	3. Hetalia Country Cooking England

Britain Scones

Ingredients

3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

2 teaspoons superfine sugar

4 tablespoons (1/4 cup) unsalted butter

2 tablespoons soft vegetable shortening

1 1/4 cups buttermilk

1 egg, beaten, for an egg wash (optional)

1 large lipped baking sheet or half sheet pan

1 (2-inch) biscuit cutter, preferably fluted

1 Websters Dictionary

1 Lewis Carrol classic

1 Charles Darwin Classis

2 Jane Austen Classics (One has to be Sense and Sensibility

Directions

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F and line a large lipped baking sheet with parchment paper.

Put the flour into a bowl with the baking soda, cream of tartar, and sugar. Chop the butter and the vegetable shortening into pieces and drop them into the flour. Throw the books into a papershredder(even the dictionary)[1].Rub the fats into the flour - or just mix any old how - and then pour in the buttermilk, working everything together to form a dough.

Lightly flour your work surface. Pat the dough into a round-edged oblong about 1 3/4 inches thick and cut out 2-inch scones with a biscuit cutter. (Mine are never a uniform height, as I only pat the dough into its shape without worrying whether it's irregular or not.)

Arrange the scones fairly close together on your lined baking sheet, and brush with beaten egg (to give golden tops) or not as you wish.

Bake for 20[2] minutes, by which time the scones will be dry on the bottom and have a relatively light feel. Remove them to a wire rack to cool, and serve with clotted cream and your favourite jam.

Make Ahead Note: Scones are best on the day they are made but day-old scones can be revived by warming in oven preheated to 300 degrees F for 5 to 10 minutes.

Freeze Note: Baked scones can be frozen in airtight containers or resealable bags for up to one month. Thaw for 1 hour at room temperature and warm as above. Unbaked scones can be put on parchment-lined trays and frozen until solid. Transfer to resealable bags and freeze for up to 3 months. Bake direct from frozen, as directed in recipe, but allowing extra 2 to 3 minutes baking time.

Alfred waited eagerly in the kitchen scarffing down all the ice cream that was in the freezer. "Hey _ it's almost ready!" America yelled, which was completely unnessessary being that she was sitted at the kitchen table reading the last of her much loved classics. _ was in a state of depression, being forced into shredding her other classic's as well as her dictionary all for the sake of the redicious recipe.[3]

The fire detector flared, as black smoke came seeping out of the sides of the oven. At this point America was armed and ready with a fire extinguisher.[4] The timer on the oven went off, and Alfred pulled the oven door open hosing down everything inside. "What the bloody hell!" Her directed her gaze to the now foam covered oven, and ran over to it. Another blonde helpped himself out of it, this one however was covered in sout, and foam. He also had thick eyebrows, emerald green eyes, and a military uniform.

"Hey Britain! Glad you could join us!" Alfred said wrapping his arm around the new arrival, leading him over to _. "Unhand me you git!" Arthur shrugged America's arm off of him. "Whoa! Calm down." He walked over to her side, "Yo Britain, I'd like you to meet _. She baked you here." _'s face flushed as she tried to ignore what was happening, digging her face into her book, 'Pride and Prejudgice'. Arthur walked over to her, and held out his hand to her, "My name is Kirkland, Arthur Kirkland." She eye'd him up and down once over before taking his hand. "_." He smiled, and knelt down pressing his lips to her knuckles.

Arthur pulled out a chair taking a seat near her. He cleared his throat and folded his hands on the table. "So do you know how we got here?" He asked her, trying to keep himself from yelling at Alfred, who was currently raiding the refrigorator. She explained the situation thus far, and he examined the cookbook. He was shooked to hear that _ actually followed these ridicious cooking instructions, that caused Alfred to choke on the burger he had in his mouth, due to laughter.

England rubbed his chin deep in thought as he examined and re-examined the oven and the cookbook trying to think of someway this could all be logicially possible. In actaulity, no, none of this phausable in the least. He connected his fist to an open palm. "If this is magic, I'll need my associate here with me. Would you mind baking this for me?" Arthur flipped through the book and showed her the page for 'Romania Sarmale.' She nodded, and followed shortly by a gulp when she noticed one ingrediant inparticular.

OTHER:

[1] Writing this made me have a giggle fit.

[2] The actaul recipe is 12 minutes, but we know Arthurs horrid cooking so ya I made it 20 minutes.

[3] Sorry reader, in this your a big book worm. (Please don't take offense to that comment, since I'm kinda a bookworm to though I can't read for to long otherwise I fall asleep)

[4] Growing up dealing with Arthur's cooking, it's plausable that he'd know how to use one. 


	4. Hetalia Country Cooking Romania

Romania Sarmale

Ingredients

3 1/4 cups long grain rice, rinsed

2 pounds pork loin roast, finely diced

1 pound carrots, chopped

1 pound onions, chopped

1 pinch salt to taste

3 tablespoons blood [1]

1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed

1/4 cup sunflower seed oil

6 ounces parsley roots, chopped

1 medium head cabbage

Directions

Place rice in a medium bowl, and pour boiling water over it. Let soak for 15 minutes, then drain.

Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the carrots, parsley roots, onions and blood. Cook and stir until the vegetables are tender. Transfer the vegetables to the bowl with the rice.

Heat 2 more tablespoons of oil in the same skillet over medium-high heat. Add the pork, and cook for about 2 minutes, just until browned on the outside. Transfer to the bowl with the rice and vegetables; season with dill and black pepper. Stir until everything is well blended. Set the mixture aside to cool.

Carefully remove the leaves from the head of cabbage, and place them in a large pot with about 2 inches of water. Bring to a boil, and cook for 5 to 10 minutes, until tender and flexible.

Remove the cabbage leaves from the pot, but leave enough in the bottom to cover. On each of the remaining leaves, place about 2 tablespoons of the pork and rice mixture in the center, and wrap the leaf around to cover. Place the stuffed cabbage leaves into the pot.

When the pot is full, place a few boiled cabbage leaves over the top. Pour boiling water into the pot to cover the cabbage rolls, and place over medium-low heat. Cover, and simmer for about 30 minutes, until the rice is tender.

_ had all the ingredients all out, and began preparing the dish. She did her best to avoid having to add the blood. There was a tap on her shoulder, "Excuse me, but I do believe that your missing one key ingredient." She sunk to the ground, and hid her head between her knees, "I-I-I k-know, i-it's just t-that.." "That what, _?" Britian asked looking don't at her with a raised brow. "B-b-b-blood m-makes me q-quessy," she studdered. He sighed, kneeled down, and wrapped an arm around her, "Everything will be alright, love." He helpped her up off the floor, and lead her over to a chair.

Alfred came back into the kitchen with a spoon in his mouth, and threw away the empty container of ice cream. Alfred than reached into the freezer and grabbed another carton of ice cream, "What's up dudes, why isn't anything being cooked?" _ winced at the question, and opened her mouth to answer only to be cut off by Arthur. "We need three tablespoons of blood." "That's not that bad." America pulled out a small spoon from the silverware drawer, and offered it out. Britian swatted it out of his hand, "Idiot, that's a teaspoon!" He than went over to the drawer pulled out an actual tablespoon, and reached into a cupboard pulling out a bowl.

_ dismissed herself from the kitchen, and returned with hydrogen pyroxide, as well as gause and medical tape. She set the things out on the kitchen table, taking a seat. Britian took the knife and ran it under scolding hot water[2] while _ poured hydrogen pyroxide onto the gause and rubbed around her wrist. Britian came walked over to her with the knife in his hand.

When he saw Britain coming towards you with the knife, Alfred jumped infront of you to protect you. "You will not harm her!" "It has to be done! Now move aside you git!" Arthur shouted back at America. She sighed, and grabbed Alfred's arm, "It's alright, this has to be done. Blood is needed for the recipe." "Oh, alright." Alfred backed off ,sat next to her, and continued to eat the ice cream. Arthur kneeled infront of _, balencing a bowl on his knee, and looked into her eyes. "I'm not going to lie, love, this will hurt. I need you to just bare with it. Can you do that?" She looked deep into his eyes, giving only a small nod before turning away.

Arthur held onto her arm gently, but firmly. She whimpered as he made a deep incision to her forearm. His eye's remained stern, and focused, but he felt his heart quiver. He thought he would never have to harm another woman again.[3] As more blood flowed from her wrist _ grew faint, and sick to her stomach. Her world began to spin, and distort, ultimately causing her to faint.

_ felt something poking her side making her twitch, and roll her head on the table. Whatever it was poked her again, only slightly lower, earning a giggle from her lips. She eyelids opened up gradually, her vision was blurred from just waking up. "Ah, deci esti nca n viata."[4] The voice deep, sultry, and alluring. As her vision returned, her gaze meet the gaze of vibrate crimson ones that were only afew inches from her face. _ screamed as she fell to the floor from shock. "Calmeaza-te femeie!"[5] The commading tone didn't help any, and she ran from the room to hide behind the first thing she saw, in this case the 'thing' happened to be a confused Arthur.

Alfred popped up from the couch,"What's wrong?" "T-there's someone in the k-kitchen!" she was pointing towards the kitchen, which now had a blonde man standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. She quickly tucked back away behind Britian, who sighed, "_ this is my associate, Romania. He's noone to be afraid of." She peeked out, and gave him a gave him a good look over. He smirked exposing, is that... a fang? Aside from the fangs,and blonde hair, he still had those crimson eyes, which were what frightened her in the first place.

Romania gave a short huff before waking over, and extending his hand out to her. _ she stared at his hand, "I'm not going to bite." She nodded, and placed her hard in his. He expressed the same gesture as England did before him, he kissed her knuckles. His gaze never left her's, he smirked, and muttered something which sounded like 'hard'. "You may call me Vlad,[6] draga."[7]Romania's face held a look that sent a shiver down her spine. England coughed into his hand, "Anyways Vlad, there's something I must dicuss with you in the kitchen." Vlad let go of her hand, and followed followed Arthur away.

_ rushed over to the couch and plotted herself next to Alfred, who was now munching on popcorn as he stared at the T.V. "Yeah, I don't blame ya. That guy freaks me out too. Those looks of his don't help much either." _ nodded and sunk into the couch. "So you feeling any better?" Alfred turned looking _ in the eye, with concern written all over his face. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine now, just tired is all." He gave a goofy grin and propped his arm around her shoulders so that she was now leaning against him. She found him to be comfortable, and warm. She drifted to sleep almost instantly.

~Afew hours later~

_ felt someone lightly shaking her shoulder. Her eye's opened lazily. "Excuse me, but I'll need you do bake these for us." She rubbed her eye's, yawned, and took a look at the page that was being shown to her. Germany Bockwurst and Warm Vegetable-Hard Cider 'Kraut Potatoes.

Other:

NOTE: Do you people know how bloody hard it is to write a story with Greece's Hattefutte Parate song playing WITHOUT falling asleep? Well let me let you it's bloody hard... no, I'm not angry I just wanted to complain xD

Note: How much food do you have in your house anyways? I swear you have a whole ice cream factory in there or something

[1] Actual recipe is tomato paste

[2] Yes that is a way to starilized an object

[3] Pirates are ruthless, taking what they want, when they want. Assuming they're the same with their women, so why would Pirate!Arthur not have harmed at least one woman?

[4] Ah, so you're still alive (Romanian)

[5] Calmeaza-te femeie! (Romanian)

[6] Romania's fanon name

[7] Darling (romanian)  
> <p>


	5. Hetalia Country Cooking Germany

Germany Bockwurst and Warm Vegetable-Hard Cider 'Kraut Potatoes

Ingredients:

4 large Idaho potatoes, peeled and cut into bite-sized pieces

Salt

2 pounds bockwurst or bratwurst (veal or veal and pork)

Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling plus 2 tablespoons

1/2 head red cabbage, about 1 pound

2 carrots

2 to 3 ribs celery

1 medium-large red onion

1 Golden Delicious apple, peeled and quartered lengthwise, core trimmed away

1 bay leaf

1 tablespoon grill seasoning (recommended: Montreal Steak Seasoning by McCormick) or, coarse salt and pepper

2 teaspoons caraway seed

4 slices center cut bacon

1 small yellow onion, chopped

1 (12-ounce) bottle hard apple cider

1/4 cup grainy Dijon mustard

1/2 cup white wine or white balsamic vinegar

2 rounded teaspoons sugar

1 cup chicken stock

1 generous handful flat-leaf parsley, chopped

Freshly ground black pepper

1 list of house rules

1 State law book

Hard cider, or white Belgian ale with orange wedge, for serving

Directions:

Throw the law book into a papershreder.

Halve larger potatoes and leave small potatoes as is, cover with water, bring to a boil, season with salt, shreded laws, and cook until tender, about 8 to 10 minutes.

Wrap sausages in the list of house rules. Place sausages in a cast iron skillet, add 1/2-inch of water and a drizzle of oil. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium and let the sausages heat through as the water evaporates. Shake pan and let the casings crisp up until they burst, 3 to 4 minutes, and are golden brown. Remove from the heat and set aside.

While sausages and potatoes cook, cut cabbage half into half again and trim away the core with an angled cut. Shred the cabbage very thinly with your knife and reserve. Place the shredder blade in your food processor. Peel the carrots and trim the root end. Trim the celery, and peel and quarter the red onion lengthwise. Peel the apple and quarter lengthwise then cut away the core as you did the cabbage. Using the processor, shred the carrots, celery, onion and apple, through the feed tube, removing from bowl as necessary.

In a large skillet heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium-high heat. Add cabbage and vegetable mixture and toss to combine. Season the mixture with bay leaf, grill seasoning or coarse salt and pepper, and caraway seeds. Saute 7 to 8 minutes, tossing frequently.

While cabbage cooks, put a medium skillet on the stove with a drizzle of olive oil and heat over medium-high heat. Add chopped bacon and render 2 to 3 minutes then stir in the yellow onion and cook for 5 minutes with the bacon to soften.

Add hard cider to cabbage mixture and reduce for 30 seconds. Stir in the mustard and turn off the heat. Discard the bay leaf.

When potatoes are cooked, drain and add to bacon and onion. Douse the pan with vinegar and sprinkle with sugar. Pour stock evenly over pan, add the parsley and some pepper and turn off the heat. Stir the potatoes 1 minute to form a starchy sauce and combine flavors.

Halve crispy sausages and serve on generous bed of cabbage, with the potatoes alongside.

Serve with hard cider or white Belgian ale with orange wedge.

*****

_ did her best to stay as far away from Vlad as possible as she did the finishing touches of the dish. Thus far it wasn't that hard of a task seeing as him and Arthur were busy dicussing their ideas on the device that they were going to have Germany build, as well as their theories on why and how exactly they were there in the first place. The every time Romania caught her looking at him, he would flash one of his fangs, and lick his lips. Once did Arthur catch him and immediately swatted him on the back of the head telling him to focus.

Once the meal was done _ placed it on a place it on the kitchen island. They stood around it, poking, and examining it. "Isn't Germany suposed to come out of the oven, dude?"[1] Alfred questioned as he popped up behind Arthur startling him. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU GIT!" Vlad chuckled at the Brit's outburst. "Well, Alfred does have a point." Vlad tabbed on his chin thoughtfully, now pacing around the island. "Well, time to test out one of my theories." Vlad picked up the dish, and placed it into the oven preheating it to a random tempeture. Sure enough that worked.

"Schei e! Wo zum Teufel bin ich?"[2] Vlad casually stood off to the side as he flew the oven door open. Smoke poured out of it as a tall aryan man helpped himself out. He had a stern look on his face, and his ice blue eyes examined his surroundings as he ran hand through his disshivolled hair putting it back into it slicked back possition. _ shuffled over and hid behind Arthur as fast as she could. Germany looked shocked that someone actaully hid from him, well someone besides Italy of course.

He sighed, "Vere am I?" "We're in _'s hou-" Alfred was interrupted by a smack to the head. "Stupid America, Anyway we have yet to figure that out. We were hoping that you could build this for us." Arthur handed him a sketch of a device. Germany looked it over and nodded, "Ja, dat shouldn't be a problem, but vat do you need zis for?" "Well if you haven't noticed we're not even in our own world anymore," Arthur stated as-a-matter-of-factly. He looked around, before nodding, and walking over to _ who was peeking out from behind England. He held out his hand, "My name is Ludwig. Do you have a vorkshed or zomething? Und any spare mechanics vould be nice to." "Uh... I-I think so," she said weakly before taking his hand.

She led him out to the garage, which was fully equipt for mechanical repairs, and spare parts. She watched him from behind the doorframe as Ludwig looked over his new work area, picking up things that he thought he would need, and carried them over to the workbench. "Uh... umm," she stuttered shifting her foot around. He stopped and looked at her, his peircing eye's caused her to tuck away behind the doorframe. He waited patiently for her to peek out again, which wasn't long. "I-i-i-if you n-need anything thing j-just let me know." "Ja, alright I vill." She closed the garage door, and went to her room to work on her college homework.

After afew hours of attempting to finish her homework, she couldn't focus, her mind was too wrapped up on the guys that were in her house. _ went down stairs to check on everyone, and make something that she knew wouldn't cause anymore strangers to emerge from the over: Lemonade. Her prefect lemonade, it wasn't to sweet and it wasn't to sour, it was simply prefect. She poured out four glasses, putting them on a tray before storing the rest of the pitcher in the refrigorator.

She first went to the library[3] and found Arthur buried in novels. You placed a glass infront of him. "Thank you, love" he looked up briefly before going back to reading. Then she journeyed to the living room only to find Alfred snoring and mummbling about 'being the hero,' she placed the glass on the table infront of him before wondering off to look for Vlad. She started to quiver at the thought of being alone with him even if it was to give him a drink. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Vlad rounded a corner, and gracefully avoided bumping into up. He smirked and grabbed a glass from the tray, taking a drink from it. Vlad licked his lips "Mmm delicioase, desi sunt sigur ca te-ai gust chiar mai bine."[4] He glided over behind you his lips dangeriously close to your neck. When you tensed he let out a dark chuckle, "Maybe some other time."

_ let out a sigh of relief and headed toward the garage. She pressed her ear against the door to hear the german hard at work. She knocked. All the sounds stopped, "Come in." She carefully balenced the tray and opened the door letting herself in. Ludwig had on a black 'wife beater', brown khaki's, and glasses, some hairs had fallen out of place. He wiped the sweat off his brow before turning to look at her. "Ja? Do you need somezing?" She blushed slightly before walking over to him, "I-I brought you some lemonade." He nodded and took the glass, drinking from it. "Danke." There was something on his serious face that she hadn't expected to see... a blush? He set the glass down on the table and coughed into his hand, "How exactly did I get here?" She gave the same explaination as she had before.

During dinner, after _ made a dish that was NOT in the cookbook, she informed all of her 'guests' that they could stay until this whole mess[5]was sorted out. Shortly after dinner Ludwig returned to his work in the garage while everyone retired to their assigned rooms.

Just as _ was about to fall asleep there was a knocking on her door. She threw the covers off her, and went over to see who it was. She opened the door only to reveal the german. He looked at her before a blush flared on his face at her wearing a nightrobe. "Do you need something Ludwig?" She asked tilting her head slightly, and yawning. "J-ja so when you cook somezing someone appears?" he asked looking away from her. "Yes that seems to be whats going on." "Ah I see, Vell I vas vondering. If it's not to much trouble, could you cook zis for me?" he handed her the cookbook. The title of the dish being "Italy Pasta Bolognese." She looked up at him puzzled. "You see I vas hoping that my friend Italy vould appear. As much as dat dummkopf annoy's me, it's too quite vithout my only freund.[6]" _ looked into Ludwig's eyes, saw the concern in his eyes, "Alright, I will first thing in the morning." "Danke _, Guten Nacht." She nodded and closed the door, than threw herself onto her bed. She knew all to well it was to have only one friend in the whole world. In all honesty this was the first time in her whole life that people were actaully depending on her. This was the first time that she didn't feel so alone.

NOTE: THE PLOT THICKENS! MAYBE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER WE GET TO FIND OUT MORE ON YOUR LIFE PREVIOUS TO ALL THIS TOMFOOLERY! MAYBE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER WE GET TO LEARN WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDEIGO! MAYBE WE GET TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD OF HETALIA!

Note: Do you have your own personal smoke machine in your oven or what? Seriously!

[1] Okay for those of you who are wondering why Romania is there when in the Romania Sarmale recipe does NOT call for the dish to be placed in the oven. Alfred misread the last bit as broil not boil. If Arthur was the one to finish the cooking well Romania would not be there and the food would have been -unediable- Well every thing in this blasted series is -unediable- I mean thus far, blood and paper? WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT... wait don't answer that.

[2] Shit! Where the hell am I (just guess what language this is)

[3] Your house is more like a castle, your family is freaking rich, and prackically has money growing on trees, No your not a rich snob, your just well... you can tell for yourself.

[4] delicious, although I'm sure you taste even better. (Romanian)

[5] Crack pot of a story that this insane person decided to write.

[6] No thats not misspelt! That's german for friend, thought I think I misspelt, misspelt... damn it 


	6. Hetalia Country Cooking Italy

Italy Pasta Bolognese

Ingredients 1 large onion or 2 small, cut into 1-inch dice 2 large carrots, cut into 1/2-inch dice 3 ribs celery, cut into 1-inch dice 4 cloves garlic Extra-virgin olive oil, for the pan Kosher salt 3 pounds ground chuck, brisket or round or combination 2 cups tomato paste 3 cups hearty red wine Water 3 bay leaves 25 white napkins 1 bunch thyme, tied in a bundle 1 pound spaghetti 1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano High quality extra-virgin olive oil, for finishing

Directions Cut up white napkins into small squares. In a food processor, puree onion, carrots, celery, bits of napkins, and garlic into a coarse paste. In a large pan over medium heat, coat pan with oil. Add the pureed veggies and season generously with salt. Bring the pan to a medium-high heat and cook until all the water has evaporated and they become nice and brown, stirring frequently, about 15 to 20 minutes. Be patient, this is where the big flavors develop.

Add the ground beef and season again generously with salt. BROWN THE BEEF! Brown food tastes good. Don't rush this step. Cook another 15 to 20 minutes.

Add the tomato paste and cook until brown about 4 to 5 minutes. Add the red wine. Cook until the wine has reduced by half, another 4 to 5 minutes.

Add water to the pan until the water is about 1 inch above the meat. Toss in the bay leaves and the bundle of thyme and stir to combine everything. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer, stirring occasionally. As the water evaporates you will gradually need to add more, about 2 to 3 cups at a time. Don't be shy about adding water during the cooking process, you can always cook it out. This is a game of reduce and add more water. This is where big rich flavors develop. If you try to add all the water in the beginning you will have boiled meat sauce rather than a rich, thick meaty sauce. Stir and TASTE frequently. Season with salt, if needed (you probably will). Simmer for 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

During the last 30 minutes of cooking, bring a large pot of water to a boil over high heat to cook the spaghetti. Pasta water should ALWAYS be well salted. Salty as the ocean! TASTE IT! If your pasta water is under seasoned it doesn't matter how good your sauce is, your complete dish will always taste under seasoned. When the water is at a rolling boil add the spaghetti and cook for 1 minute less than it calls for on the package. Reserve 1/2 cup of the pasta cooking water.

While the pasta is cooking remove 1/2 of the ragu from the pot and reserve.

Drain the pasta and add to the pot with the remaining ragu. Stir or toss the pasta to coat with the sauce. Add some of the reserved sauce, if needed, to make it about an even ratio between pasta and sauce. Add the reserved pasta cooking water and cook the pasta and sauce together over a medium heat until the water has reduced. Turn off the heat and give a big sprinkle of Parmigiano and a generous drizzle of the high quality finishing olive oil. Toss or stir vigorously. Divide the pasta and sauce into serving bowls or 1 big pasta bowl. Top with remaining grated Parmigiano. Serve immediately.

Germany was at the kitchen table eating morning sausages while reading the newspaper, having his reading glasses on. _ was working on cooking and preppng the ingredients for the pasta. Ludwig almost chocked on his coffee when she began to throw the white napkins into the processor. Her mind began to drift off to how her life was before all these strange men entered into her life.

_ was a member of one of the wealthest families in the US, but she was alone, secluded from the world. Her parent's gave her everything and anything she ever wanted. Though she never got the one thing, the only thing that she truely wanted: a real family. Her ever watchful and protective parents never let her out of their sight. She was home schooled, her only true friends were the plushies in her room. All her maids and butlers only liked her becuase they were PAID to. In truth, she knew that anyone that was her friend was only after one thing, the money. _ was frustrated, she couldn't go to her parents about how she felt. They would just bring all the reasons of why she shouldn't feel that way.

When she became an adult her parents bought her, her own place, and left her with enough money to buy whatever she needed or wanted. Yes, it felt wonderful to finally be on her own, but she was still alone. Once the boredom, and loneliness began to eat away at her it was time to move on. She enrolled into a college, purposely getting into a lower class one. A place where noone would know her. There were two main problems that she came across, she was Xenophobic and an introvert.[1] She wanted to have at least one friend, upon realizing this how could she? Everything was just seemed so hopeless, until one day.

"Psst! Excuse me." _ was poked, and nearly jumped out of her skin. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you, mind if I sit next to you?" _ looked up at this strang person, and shook her head. "G-g-go ahead." "Kay! Thanks everywhere else is taken." They plopped themself into a chair across from her. "Soo, I've seen you in few of my courses. Are you trying to be a chef too?" She nodded, "Y-yes." "Neat! We should Totally help eachother out than! Do you have any specaility's?" _ shook her head, sinking into her seat. They frown and dug into thier backpack, pulling out a book, and handed it to her. "Here you can try cooking some of these up, see what style you like." She took the book, and stared at the cover, before looking back to them. "Th-thank you." "Hey, no problem, what are friends for." A bell sounded. "Ah! Crap I Have to go, I'll catch you around! Oh hey about the book, just return whenever, later!" Before she could even say thank you they were gone. _ blushed to herself thinking, 'Finally, a friend.'

*~*~*~* Meanwhile in the World of Hetalia *~*~*~*

"Oh no! Germany! Germany! Where did-a Germany go? GEERMMMAANNNYY!" Italy was frantically running around the G8 meeting room. "Oi fratello, shut up already!" Romano yelled. "But Romano, he did just vanish into thin air. just like the others." Spain stated, now poking him in the cheek with a pencil. "I know! Stop that you jerk!" he swated the pencil out of Spain's hand. "Oui, it is much too quite without Angleterre here." France mutterede to himself as he absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair. "I think this is getting interesting, fufufu~" Russia said as he 'helped' Lativa get taller. "Hmph, you western nations are so inconciderate." "GERMANNYY! GEERRRMMAANNYY!" Turkey was yelling random things at Greece, who was in an undistrubed sleep throughout all the commontion.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Prussia strutted in. "Oi! West let's go get a beer!" His crimson eyes scanned the room, before he frowned. "Where's West?" "Vat do you care? Your not even a country zo you shouldn't even be here. Now leave ve have inportant matters zo dicuss." Austria shooed Prussia away like he was a pest. "Pfft, that cause I'm to awesome to be a country." He was suddenly tackled to the ground by a crying Italy. He sat up grabbing Italy's shoulders, "Feliciano! What's wrong?" "I-it's Germany *sniffle* he's *sniffle* GOOONNNEEEE!" He returned to brawling his eyes out, buring his face into Gilbert's shoulder. "What do you mean West is gone?" Prussia was quite perplexed. "He vanished." Feli sniffled out. Prussia was in shocked. Vanished.. no he couldn't have... Could he? He started to shake clutching onto Italy as an attempt to steady himself.

Prussia's grip was begining to fail him, he stared at Italy... no what was left of Italy. He was disolving, vanishing into thin air. "FRATTELLO!" Romano yelled as he came running to try to aid his younger brother. He clasped onto his knees tears threatening to spill out of his eyes as the last bit of his brother evaporated before he could even say goodbye.

*~*~*~* Meanwhile *~*~*~*

No one still has no bloody idea where Carman Sandiego is... Seriously? Where the hell is that woman.[2]

Smoke leaked out of the sides of the oven door. "Ack! It's-a so dark in here! Someone-a save me I'm afriad of the-a dark!" Ludwig got up quickly and opened up the oven door in a hurry. A brunette hair man tummbled out, crying, grabbing onto the frist thing he could, _. She started to shake nervously, completely unsure of what to do. "ITALIA!" Ludwig barked making the two of them cringe. Italy out of habit whined, "Don't-a hurt me Germany." The brunnette blinked than smiled wide, quickly turning around and glomping Ludwig. "GERMANY I MISSED-A YOU SO MUCH! WE THOUGHT-A YOU WERE GONE FOR-A GOOD!" the italian squeled. "Ja, ja I missed you to, now get out of my face." he said as he patted him on the head.

Ludwig ended up having to pry Italy off of himself, before he could introduce him. "Italy this is _, _ this is Italy." The brunnette gave her a sudden hug, and kissed her on both her cheeks.[3] "Caio! You can call me Feliciano or-a Feli for short. You can even-a call me Italy! My sei cos bella![4]" _ had no idea what he said but the way he said it caused her cheeks to heat up. "Uh I'm _, n-nice to m-meet you."

"What's going on in here?" Everyone turned towards the enterance of the kitchen to see Arthur and Vlad entering. "Heh, so we have another one here, and so early." Vlad said smirking. Arthur sighed,"Do you at least have the device ready?" "Ja," Ludwig said as he handed the device to Arthur. "Thank you. Now we'll be able to start getting data on what's going on here."Arthur flipped afew switches and placed it near the stove. "Now we need you to start cooking, again. Anyone have any ideas?" England leaned his back against the counter. Italy waved his hand around while bouncing,"I do! I do! How about my big brother Romano and-a Prussia! He was so worried about-a you Germany!" Ludwig's face flushed.

_ nodded and began searching through the cookbook making tabs on the pages "Romano sfincione pizza" and "Prussia So klopse" the picture of the later made Feliciano faint.[5]

NOTE: Look at that we know abit more about you. So sorry if these guys are ooc. I'm trying.

[1] Fear of strangers, explains why you kept hiding behind Arthur, no?

[2] Told you people that I would touch this in the last chapter.. pfft you didn't believe me did you?

[3] This is a typical Italian greeting.

[4] You are so pretty (italian)

[5] Have you ever seen it? That dish looks like... well you look it up it's mainly known as K nigsberger Klopse 


	7. Hetalia Country Cooking Romano&Prussia

Romano Sfincione Pizza

8 ounces sun-dried tomatoes, packed in oil

2 to 3 garlic cloves, peeled

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing top of pizza and drizzling

1 small eggplant, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1/3 cup quartered artichoke hearts

1/2 cup diced roasted red bell peppers

1/3 cup pitted and halved Kalamata olives

2 tablespoons drained capers

2/3 cup grated feta cheese

1/4 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs

1 double recipe Oregano Pizza Dough, recipe follows

1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan

3 crates of Roma tomatoes

2 ounces of gunpowder[1]

5 sour apples

Directions

Place sun-dried tomatoes, the olive oil from their jar, and garlic cloves in a food processor or blender. Process on high, slowly drizzling in extra olive oil, and gunpowder, if needed to form a thick puree. Throw 2 crates of roma tomatoes, and the sour apples into a food processor. Slice up ramaining tomatoes. Set aside.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Toss eggplant with 2 tablespoons of the olive oil and place on a baking sheet. Roast in the oven for 20 minutes, or until browned and tender. Cool slightly.

Place baking stone on lowest oven rack and increase temperature to 500 degrees F.

Place one of the oregano pizza dough circles on a baker's peel or baking sheet sprinkled with 2 tablespoons of cornmeal. Spread about 3/4 cup of the sun-dried tomato pesto on the dough circle, leaving a 3/4-inch border. Place roasted eggplant, artichoke hearts, olives, capers, sliced roma tomatoes, and feta cheese on top of pesto. Sprinkle breadcrumbs over vegetables. Moisten the edges of the crust with a bit of water, then top with the remaining Oregano Pizza Dough circle, pressing the edges together firmly. Crimp the edges decoratively, if desired. Brush the top crust lightly with olive oil, then sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese. Cut 4 vents in the top of the crust to let the steam escape, or dock with a pastry docker if available. Bake until the bottom crust is browned and the top and edges are golden, about 12 to 15 minutes.

Note: Any remaining sundried tomato pesto may be refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 1 week. Makes a wonderful sandwich spread as well as a nice addition to vinaigrettes.

Oregano Pizza Dough (single recipe):

1 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees F)

1 (1/4-ounce) envelope active dry yeast

1 teaspoon honey

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano

1 teaspoon salt

Yellow cornmeal, for sprinkling the baking sheet

In a large bowl, combine the water, yeast, honey, and 1 tablespoon oil, stirring to combine. Let sit until the mixture is foamy, about 5 minutes.

Stir together the flour and oregano. Add 1 1/2 cups of the flour mixture and the salt, mixing by hand until it is all incorporated and the mixture is smooth. Continue adding the flour, 1/4 cup at a time, working the dough after each addition, until all the flour is incorporated but the dough is still slightly sticky. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth but still slightly tacky, 3 to 5 minutes.

Oil a large mixing bowl with remaining olive oil. Place the dough in the bowl, turning to coat with the oil. Cover with plastic wrap and set in a warm place, free from drafts until doubled in size, about 1 1/2 hours.

Punch dough down and turn out onto a lightly floured surface and roll into a 12-inch circle.

Yield: 1 (15-inch) pizza dough

*~*~*~* AND *~*~*~*

Prussia Soßklopse

Ingredients

1 1/2 Onions

1 Bay leaf

2 Cloves

8 cups (2 liters) Chicken Broth

1 teaspoon Peppercorns

4 tablespoons Butter

4 slices White Bread, crusts removed

3 1/2 tablespoons Milk

5 marinated Sardine Filets

1 lb Ground Veal

2 Eggs

1 teaspoon Mustard

2 tablespoons finely chopped Parsley

Salt, Pepper

1/2 teaspoon Lemon Zest

3 tablespoons Cornstarch

1 clove Garlic, finely chopped

1/2 cup Heavy Cream

1 - 2 tablespoons marinated Capers

1 large piece of Lemon Peel

5 Jars of awesome sauce

1 5 meter stick [2]

Lemon Juice

Worcestershire Sauce

Cayenne Pepper

Nutmeg

Instructions

In a large cooking pot, add chicken broth, 1/2 onion, bay leaf, peppercorns, and cloves. Heat to just under the boiling point. Allow this to cook this way while preparing remaining ingredients.

Finely chop the remaining onion. Add butter to a frying pan and melt. Cook chopped onions in the butter until transparent.

Cut the bread into small cubes. Soak in milk.

Finely chop the sardines.

Splinter the 5 meters[3]

Mix together the ground veal, chopped onions, splintered 5 meters, sardines, bread, eggs, mustard, salt, pepper, lemon zest, awesome suace and parsley. Mix well, until a smooth mass forms. With wet hands, form golf-ball sized dumplings.

Add the dumplings to the hot chicken broth. Keep the broth just below boiling point and cook the dumplings this way for 15 minutes. Remove from heat. For the sauce, remove 3 cups of the broth and pour it through a colander. Keep dumplings hot in the remaining broth, covered.

Add the 3 cups of broth to a cooking pot and bring to a boil. Mix the cornstarch with a little cold water. Slowly drizzle this into the broth, stirring constantly. Allow this to simmer for 5 minutes. Add cream and remaining butter to the sauce and mix until blended. Add capers. Add the piece of lemon peel and allow this to cook with the sauce for 2 minutes, then remove it. Season the sauce with salt, pepper, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, and nutmeg - to taste.

Remove dumplings from the broth. Serve the dumplings with the sauce.

As the two dishes were on there final destination, the oven, everyone waiting eagerly. Italy was bothering Germany as he paced around the table, Alfred was in the living room playing video games, and Vlad and Arthur were watching the magic scanner[4] for any fluctuations. The tension could be related to the calm before the storm. _ didn't know what to expect, she hadn't the faintest idea of who the new arrivals would be or what they would be like. She was just barely getting used to the four men already there, with the exception of the brunette with seemingly endless bounds of energy. The buzzer went off and a crashing sound was heard coming from the oven... it was time again.

"Get your unawesome ass out of my face!" "S-Stop touching me you brother of macho potato bastard! CHHIIIIGGGIIII!" Before anyone could react two men had tumbled out of the oven and on to the floor, breaking off the door of it. _ stared wide-eyed as her knees began to shake slightly. They both got up to their feet, one was a darker haired version of Italy, except he had hazel eyes, and a curl that flipped up to the right of his head. The other man scared her even more so than Romania ever could, he had silver hair, and more noticable crimson eyes. _ tried to steady her nerves as she watched. The silver haired man yelled out, "Oi! West there you are! You not being at the meeting when I came in to grace everyone with my awesome presence wasn't awesome at all!" She wondered who he was talking to until Ludwig nodded his head once. "Sorry bruder." "Yeah! You'd better be!"

"Fratello! My big brother your-a here now!" Italy bounced over, and glomped him. "Get off me garlic breath!" Feli's big brother said as he struggled to get Feli off of him, to no avail. "Ah, Romano don't be like that, there's-a someone you need to-a meet!" Feliciano grabbed onto his brother's arm leading him straight towards _. She braced herself trying to put on a brave face even though being in the presence of so many people, who were being oh so very loud, was making her cave. "_! This is-a my big brother Romano. You can-a Lovino though!" Romano only 'hmpf'd not even bothering to look at her. The silver haired man pushed Lovino aside now intruducing himself, "Hey there, Frau. I'm the Awesome Prussia! You can call my Gilbert, or The Awesome Gilbert." _ couldn't hold back the urge anymore, she ran, bolting to the quietest place she knew: her room.

Everyone stopped all their chatter and stared after her before glaring at Prussia. His crimson eyes met all their stares, shocked for a moment before brushing it off, "Pfft! Guess she couldn't handle my awesomeness." "What did you do Bruder," Ludwig's voice was deep and intimating, his ice blue eyes baring holes into Gilbert. "West, I didn't do anything!" "Bollocks." Arthur spat out. "Damn Bastard." "Bruder, go apologise to _ now." "I'm much to awesome to apologize. Hell I'm to awesome to take this Scheiße from you guys." He walked out of the kitchen casually, while whistling a tune. Germany caught him by the collar and slammed him against the wall. "Sie sollten lieber gehen entschuldigen Sie jetzt!"[5] "Mein Gott! Fine, wollte ich sowieso. Nun lasst mich gehen."[6] Gilbert said glaring back at his brother.

[1] Referance to Romano's involvement with the mafia.

[2] I had to xD

[3] Again I had to, I couldn't resist.

[4] The device's identity is revealed: Basicly it looks like one of those electromagnetic pulse detector thingy's except it detects magic... yes I know more stuff I pulled outta my ass.

[5] You'd better go apologize now (german)

[6] My god! Fine I was about to anyway. Now let me go.


	8. Hetalia Country Cooking Intermisson

When Gilbert walked out of the kitchen huffing, Alfred turned around calling out after him. "Hey dude! What's up?" He stopped and eyed him for a moment, "Do you know where that one chick is?" "Oh you mean _? She's most likely in her room. Why?" Prussia scratched the back of his head and looked away, "West said I had to apologize to her. Pfft it's not my fault that she couldn't handle my awesomeness." Alfred fell back on the couch laughing himself to tears. Prussia stormed over to the couch, and leaned over it. "Hey what the fuck is so dammt funny!" America managed to stopped his laughter, "Dude! I'd be scared of you too if you came out of my oven with those blood red eyes of yours." He deadpanned, "But my eyes are awesome, All of me is awesome!" Alfred went back to laughing his butt off on the couch, as Gilbert went off to find _'s room.

There was a loud knocking at _'s door, "C-come in." Her voice was slightly muffled due becuase her face was burried within a pillow. The door opened and closed quietly as whoever it was made their way into the room, and took a seat next to her on her mattress. "So... what was all that about?" who ever it was, his voice was rather hoarse. She burried her face into her pillow more, "I-I-I..." His eyes narrowed, "You what?" _ peeked up from behind her pillow to finally see the face to the voice. "R-R-r-red e-e-yes." "Yeah, pretty awesome right?" He boasted, while she backed away from him slowly.

He realized that she was backing away from him, he spoke up, "Wait, your scared of me. Aren't you?" _ held on to her pillow abit tigher, "D-don't get m-me wrong, it's j-just that I d-don't know you." "Pfft, so your scared of strangers?" Prussia watched her closely as she gave a single nod. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him. "Look, there's no need to be scared of me." Her grip on the pillow loosed, sure his red eyes were frightening, and he seemed to be full of himself, but there was just something about him that made her feel drawn to him.

There was a light tapping on the door, causing the two of them to break apart from eachother. Alfred opened the door, "Yo _, Britain wants to see ya." "Oh? A-alright, I'll be down in a minute." "Kay!" he close the door behind him. America leaned over the railing and yelled out, "HEY ARTHUR! _ SAYS SHE'LL BE DOWN IN A MOMENT!" "THERE IS NO NEED TO YELL YOU BLOODY GIT!" Arthur yelled back. She shuddered at the loud voices outside her door.

Afew moments later _ walked into the kitchen followed closely behind by a whistling Gilbert. Ludwig stuck out his arm stopping him, "Haben Sie entschuldigen?[1]" "Sorte von[2]" Gilbert smacked his arm away, and taking a seat at the table flipping through the pages of the cookbook.

"Ah miss _! We'll need you to cook something again for us, because we haven't gotten sufficient data that last go around." "Oh, alright. Is there anything inparticular?" _ asked. "We'll need Francis and Antonio here to make this place awesome!" "Not that tomato bastard!" Romano protested. "I will not have frog face here!" England protested as well. No one had any other protests, Ludwig snatched the book from his brother and handed it to _, "Vell you know vhat to do." With that Germany walked out of the kitchen doing his best to surpress an on coming headache. She flipped through the pages bookmarking "France Escargots a la Bourguignonne" and "Spain salpicon de Jamon"

[1] Did you apologize?

[2] sort of


End file.
